on delivery: they don't call it labor because it is easy

author's note: this may be graphic at times - discussing bodily functions. (remember: i am a nurse. we talk about topics over lunch that would make even those with steel stomaches squeamish.) read at your own peril. :)

everyone had been predicting i would deliver early. it was hard for me to believe and frankly i didn't want to put too much weight into it. too many friends i knew had been late with their first pregnancy and i knew from watching that the last couple weeks could be really hard. so i figured if i expected to go late, but was prepared in case i went early, then maybe i could make the last few weeks a little less miserable.

i had begun to drop by 36 weeks. they say in the first pregnancy you begin to drop between hours to weeks before the initiation of labor, so really it was no surprise. again, i tried not to give this fact too much weight but the pressure was starting to build.

i had been seeing a chiropractor during my pregnancy. first for some pain in my lower back, which was due to some misalignment of the sacro-iliac joint. then continued to go to help with the multiple and many aches and pains of pregnancy. i hadn't gone for awhile, but but beginning to have considerable pain with my round ligaments. i figured another visit couldn't hurt. so i went on wednesday, may 30th. my wonderful chiro did some work right at the pubic symphysis. we had discussed this before - any misalignment at the pubic symphysis could narrow my birth canal, making my goals of a natural labor and delivery, while still achievable, more difficult. so ensuing proper alignement was certainly in my best interest for many reasons.

that evening i felt nauseous and had some loose bowel movements. i felt like it was unlikely to be food poisoning or gastroenteritis, but i didn't know what else it could be. i went to my trusty friend google and found that sure enough, these both can be early symptoms of impending labor. when the hormones start to shift it can cause both nausea and the bowel to empty. could my morning alignment have caused our little baby to drop down further, to put the pressure on my cervix, to release the hormones to initiate labor? i didn't want to believe it, but that little voice kept chirping in the back of my head.

that night, sleeping on the recliner in the sunroom (as i had been for weeks due to reflux, ligament pain, and other general annoyances of the third trimester), i woke a few times throughout the night noting some mild but ignorable cramps. i had had some Braxton-Hicks contractions before, but they were always one in isolation. never before had i had them in my sleep or in a series.

i woke up in the morning on thursday, may 31st. after going to the bathroom, i noted my discharge had changed in color. it had been white and thick (another joy of the third trimester); now it was now a slightly darker color -  not frank blood, but suggestive of bloody show.

when dave woke up, i shared with him that i was having mild, but now noticeable consistent cramps. they were coming only ~2 times an hour, but seemed to be kind of regular. we had some errands to run. it was interesting walking through the mall with contractions. at the apple store, having my crashed computer looked at, i was glad dave was with me. he could maintain conversation with the "apple genius", so that i could lean against the counter when the "cramps" came. i was beginning to question were these cramps, Braxton-Hicks contractions, or the real deal...

we happened to have an appointment with our midwife group that afternoon for our 38 week check-up. the contractions were now coming 2-3 times per hour. incidentally, i had lost 2 pounds from my previous week's appointment. the midwife did an internal exam. we were hesitant about having the internal (and the midwife was certainly not pushy about it, but offered it instead as a possible option.) ultimately, we decided to go for it as a means of gathering information. she checked and i was only dilated 1cm, but effaced 90%.  she did find evidence of bloody show with the exam, confirming my suspicions from the morning. she told us she suspected we were at the precipice of labor. she stated that she had found empirically many patients would lose weight the week of labor. she didn't know why but she had seen it often in her years of experience. she told us while we weren't necessarily going to go into labor that day, she anticipated it happening within the week. it was thursday - she told us she was on-call at the hospital saturday night. she expected she would find us with our baby there by then.

this was good news! we called the doula and gave her a heads-up. it was also election week for the recall of our state governor - a recall which we strongly supported. so we did what any responsible citizen would do. we went and casted our absentee ballot for his opponent.

we went home and decided while this wasn't for sure, we should act like it was, just in case. so we did what we learned. i ate a small lunch and laid down on the couch. these were 2 things that could stall/stop false labor if it were and would be important for the long road ahead if it weren't.

as the hours passed, the contractions increased in frequency and intensity. by 7pm we began to think, this had to be it. i was feeling a little nervous - if this weren't it, i feared i wouldn't be able to take the "real thing". if this was it, i was still afraid i wasn't going to be able to make it. it really hurt. at one point, i looked at dave and began to cry: "do you realize, if this is really it, we are going to meet our son soon?". he started to cry too.

we tried lots of positions we had learned in our classes. on the exercise ball. on hands and knees. i was most comfortable in the glider. but i wasn't really comfortable. we had learned that the contractions were intense, but that there would be moments of calm in between, in which i was supposed to relax, rest, save my energy. but those moments of calm never really came. there were moments of less pain, but never of no pain. it was hard for me to tell if the contractions were starting and stopping, coming or going. dave encourage me to keep moving."try the shower! try the shower!" ok, fine - i decided to try the shower.

WOW- why didn't i listen to dave earlier? finally i was having breaks between the contractions - or close to it. the contractions themselves seem to space out more regularly as well. i would lean in a lunge against the shower wall when the contractions came. i stayed in there until i was out of hot water.

the contractions continued out of the shower and again i lost those moments of calm. i started throwing up with the more severe contractions. i didn't have much in me as i hadn't eaten since the early afternoon, but it was rough. and of course given the pressure on my bladder, when i would retch, it would cause me to pee (to add insult to injury). i went through a couple pairs of sweat pants by the time i thought of wearing a pad to catch the urine, which i could change as needed.

dave had been talking on and off to our doula. she didn't really believe us in the beginning that we were in labor. she was guessing it was false labor. she kept having dave put the phone on speaker so she could hear me...moan, i suppose. finally, she recognized this as the real deal. she gave us support over the phone, offering suggestions of positions. finally, around 8:45pm, she told us she was on the way over. (we both breathed a sigh of relief. though neither of us had said anything out loud, the frequency and intensity of my contractions had scared both of us. we were both nervous of waiting too long at home. and my labor didn't seem to be following textbook...though i wonder if anyone's does.)

meanwhile we had to notify the rest of our birth team. we knew early on that we wanted my mom there. my mom and i are extremely close. we haven't always seen eye-to-eye and sometimes seemed to be wired differently emotionally, but we got over most of that stuff in my 20's. now, she is an ally, close friend, and great mom role model. we also had asked two of my close friends to be present. one, andrea, whose child's birth i had witnessed the year prior, we knew might not make it due to said child. the other, sheila, was a sure thing. but, everyone was coming from afar: my mom from chicago - about 90 miles from milwaukee and my 2 friends from madison - 75 miles away. we had given them all a heads up in the early evening that we may be calling them later on. my mom, incidentally, was to be on her way up to milwaukee for a long weekend with my brother and his kids. we called her and she was about midway. we told her to forget going to my brother's and to head straight over. we called andrea too, but got no answer. we left a message, but figured she was likely unavailable because of parenting responsibilities. we notified sheila who was asleep prior to our call, but said she'd jump in the shower to wake up and head this way.

mom arrived first and then our doula. they encouraged me and helped support dave who was providing lots of counter pressure to my hips and quads. soon enough, our doula recommended we go to the hospital. i was secretly relieved. i was very glad to have labored for the early part at home, but i was happy to know i have completed that milestone. it made me feel like i was making progress.

it was cold and pouring rain on our ride to the hospital. we were taking 3 separate cars for the 4 of us. (meanwhile, sheila was still on her way and planning to meet us at the hospital.) our doula had advised me not to panic in the car. it was going to be harder - to be constrained and unable to move or react much when the contractions came. we knew things were really serious when i told dave to slow down. ordinarily i tease dave about driving too slow. but at this time every bump or crack in the road felt enormous. but we made it to the hospital, a quick 10-15 minute drive from the house, and were checking in around midnight.

to be continued...